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Thursday, 17 July 2014

Sometimes They Come Back - Again

I promised that I would blog about this. About my attacks. No, not heart attacks bimbo! I think they are panic attacks, or anxiety attacks. Yes, I have these attacks. I look perfectly cute *ahem* and normal on the outside. I'm not praising myself, but really, if I tell people I have (mild) depression, they will choke on their saliva out of disbelief.

First encounter happened about one year ago. I was lying on the sofa. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was choking, something was in my throat. I couldn't even swallow. I looked up the ceiling, it was spinning. I was scared. Scared of everything, anything. I couldn't get up (I should've). Someone "accompanied" me til I felt alright, by messaging with me on the phone for two hours. I survived.

These attacks come and go during this one year span. Happened many times in between. I survived, of course. 

Then, three weeks ago, it came back, again. It was Saturday morning, hubby went to work. I was sitting on the couch. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. My heart was beating very fast. Cold sweat all over my body. It was like I was drowning, couldn't breathe. I had to get up.

Someone promised to call at 9am. But it was only 7.30am that time. I couldn't wait. I got up again, had a cold shower. I felt better. Made myself busy, quickly fed both kids, bathed them, and rocked G to sleep, eyes kept looking at the clock.

And waited for the call. And kept praying. And survived.

Monday came. I went to work as usual. I felt completely normal.

Depression doesn't have a face. This (pretty) face *ahem* certainly doesn't look like having depression, does it? Dearie Phong Hong, if you are reading this, I want you to know that I'm alright, am dragging myself out of it, and I've read this post a million times, and still reading.


123 comments:

  1. My dear Louiz, I am reading this right now and wow, this anxiety attack sounds very scary. I have experienced anxiety before but not as bad as yours. Yes, depression doesn't have a face and we can't tell by looking at someone that they have this problem. From all the crazy and hilarious stuff you write on SK's blog, you always sound so chirpy and happy. I guess SK's blog is one place where you keep yourself sane and happy right?

    I am happy that you are strong enough to share this openly and that you managed to survive those attacks. But seriously, girl if it does not get better or it gets worse, you must get help. Not being kaypoh lah but just concerned about to,ok? Glad that you tell me you are alright and dragging yourself out of it.

    You look cute and pretty as always (eh, no ribbon but got flower?) but this photo got a bit of sad look lah. The smile like forced, huh? When was this photo taken? But never mind, sometimes we are down and sometimes we are happy. Life is like that. May you have the courage and the strength to soldier on and hopefully one day you can overcome these anxiety attacks. Take care, Louiz! May the force be with you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oopss..typo. "just concerned about you, ok?" (bukan to).

      How are you feeling today?

      Delete
    2. I love you so much Phong Hong.. How you know this picture got a bit of sad look? Yep, this picture was taken about 1 or 2 weeks ago, when I was trying to lead a normal life after G's incidents (and also that attack which came to haunt me for 3 days).. Maybe affected by G's issues.. Like you said, when there's a change in routine or something happened, there I go again..

      Today feeling COMPLETELY normal!

      Delete
    3. Great that you feel completely normal today. Same for me, some days I feel normal and some days I just feel so out of focus and very "kacau bilau". But I am much better now, good days are more than bad days. And also more in control of my emotions. And today I also feel normal :)

      Delete
    4. I'm glad both of you are alright... I'm here for you gals. Hugs and kisses

      Delete
    5. Thank you, Angeline! You are so sweet :)

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    6. Wah, I'm very touched with what Angeline said.. Thank you baby..

      Delete
  2. Louiz dear, agree with Phong Hong that you are strong to share this in you blog...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like Phong Hong said, so I go to SK's blog and talk about nonsense there.. Hehe.. Oops SK, I'm not saying you write nonsense, I'm saying I comment nonsense, ok.. To make myself happy :)

      Delete
    2. i understand only.. only nonsense will attract nonsense mah.. hahaha!! :D

      Delete
    3. Louiz, today there is a lot of comments. Becoming like SK's playground where we come and happy, happy :D

      Delete
    4. Ya wor, I also realize today many comments.. I'm happy again :)

      Delete
  3. I used to had it during my late 20s. That time no exercise, only stress in work and lack of sleep. Now no more. Try to breath slowly , and don't worry. Do a ecg for heart check if you are worry about heart attack and that will reassured you. In fact , welcome the attack. It shows your body needed to 'reboot' and come to its limit. The attack actually protecting you from over burn. Try to exercise as it generates feel good hormones in you and calm you down. Try to convert your negative thoughts into positive ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will have this if I'm panic or kan cheong, or feeling "something missing".. Like if everyday, I'm doing A, and when I don't do it, or when A does not happen that day, then I get this "can't-live-without-it" feeling..

      Delete
    2. Manage your time on your work and tasks. If really cannot finish then let it be. No need to kan Cheong. Take a med if really too kancheong. Let go your anger cause by others, no point brooding over it. Might as well relax and have a good bento after a nice run. :)

      Delete
    3. Me ar, I also got stress with my work my own time and time with my family.. Looks like my stress is the normal level one... I'm easily feel contented so I'm not the type will worried until something happen to myself. I'll be kan cheong also... but I still can handle is pretty good. So talk to friends... or that is why can't get rid off from SK's blog... comment more nonsense to relax... and I feel that the more I bake the more I feel relax with.

      Delete
    4. Angeline, same with Phong Hong, she says she can de-stress with baking.. But I not yet find my way out yet, still looking for an answer..

      Delete
  4. Anti depressant definitely helps as well as some short term relaxing meds. You may also want to visit your GP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On most days, I feel completely normal.. Only when the attack comes hit me, for that few minutes, I feel like the end of the world.. But after that phase, then *doink* back to normal !!

      Delete
    2. Very funny one..
      1) If I call someone or that someone call me back during the attack, I'll be alright
      2) If someone is there with me in the house, or I'm at somebody's house (with people), I'll be alright.
      3) If I go to work, I'll be alright

      Delete
    3. Because you feel assured already mah. Once you assured , you feel relief and relax. Once you are relax... then you are ok lor...

      Delete
  5. Hmm. I have such attack once but it was long ago. I was lying in my bed and suddenly I felt funny, uncomfortable and i had cold sweat. Dont know what was wrong but it last for few minutes. I never told anyone and thought less of it till now you post this up.

    I agreed with Chris. Need take care of ourselves and exercise and check up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually I had my very first encounter during my confinement with Kz about 3 yrs ago.. I was thinking could it be post-natal depression.. But it's coming back today, hmm..

      Delete
  6. I am very sorry to hear what you are going through. I have to figure out how to share my comments as I am in a hurry this morning. Will come back later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wah, in a hurry also wana drop me a comment, I'm very touched.. Just don't scold me CB ok.. Teehee..

      Delete
    2. Chris, again ahh? Chicken burger :)

      Delete
    3. TM will still say you are a CB lah.. Cantik Betul mah~~ :D

      Delete
    4. Adoi.... Itu Chris really CB King!





      Chicken Bento King**

      Delete
    5. Oi.... what Cb king ? Faint ....

      Delete
  7. Will ice cream help? I've seen most of my female friends stock up on ice cream in their freezer. They said it's their medicine for anxiety attack.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never tried ice cream when the attack comes, but a cold shower helps.. But not for long.. I need someone to call me and talk to me before I am back to myself..

      Delete
  8. Hello Louiz, suddenly it dawned upon me.. yes, suddenly I thought of Chris.. he has bouts of anxiety attacks during his younger age.. ie. your age.. now he is old! hahahaa.. Anyway, he has outgrown it, perhaps you can ask him how and what the remedy is... this anxiety attack is very common, it happens to the young and old.. but at least you know how to come to terms with it.. others might still be ignorant and they must be feeling something odd about these attacks..
    If anytime you need to rant out, I am sure many of us here are most willing to bring you out of your blues.. you have many nice friends here in this blogging world.. so you are not alone.. not to worry! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes ...drop me an email or you can text me. I pm you my no. If you need.

      Delete
    2. Oh yes, I'm happy to read all the comments today.. I am glad I'm not alone.. I used to think it's post-natal depression, but it came back recently, so I don't think it's post-natal depression..

      On most days, I feel completely normal.. Only when the attacks happen, for that few minutes, I feel like dying.. But after it has passed, I feel ok already.. I just need someone to call me and talk to me, or somebody drag me to a place full of people, or drag me outside, then I'm alright already..

      There was one time, I was having these attacks, lasted for half a day.. Suddenly, neighbor came, pressed my doorbell, and wanted to come in to gossip with me, then my attacks gone, and I felt normal already..

      Delete
    3. Chris, you can give me your number, we can whatsapp about hamsap stuffs, ooops, I mean we can whatsapp if convenient :)

      Delete
    4. Oi ... I'm good boy ok? I give u later la.

      Delete
    5. Chris, don't hamsap my sister.

      Delete
    6. Chris wanna date Princess Ribbon so that he can touch her heart~~ :p

      Delete
    7. I'm laughing so loud now.. Maybe Chris thinking I wana hamsap him..

      Delete
    8. yalah.. Chris wanna touch Princess Ribbon's heart, and Princess Ribbon wanna touch Chris' thigh.. ooopsss, no guarantee that their hands will slightly (and soon bin) sway somewhere~~ :p

      Delete
    9. I can laugh til I pengsan now..

      Delete
    10. By the way, Reana, how come you know Chris got anxiety attacks from a young age? You already kenal him when he was a small boy ahh?

      Delete
    11. Reana is my aunty la ....

      Delete
    12. Aiyo! He is just pulling my hairy legs. I would believe that Chris is Reana's uncle!

      Delete
    13. Chris.. I just found out.. You lied.. I'm so sad now.. Reana is your cousin ahh.. And you said she's your aunty.. I wana cry.. Bye to the cruel world..

      Delete
    14. Lol ..... same same la ...

      Delete
  9. aiyoh.. i dunno how to comment this one woh.. at first when i read your post, i thot you kena possessed or "bei gwai jaak" but in the end baru know you have been suffering from depression.. i mean i dunno how to comment because i have not gone through this, so it won't be convincing if i am going to say anything lah, i mean this one i will not be able to "lou jork" (simply goreng) anything like i can talk about cooking, baking or even parenting mah..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aiyo, you no need "lou jork" la.. Wei, I'm laughing la, you think I kena possessed ahh... Haha.. But the title is interesting right..

      Delete
    2. yes, the way you described macam the symptoms of being possessed leh~~ :D

      Delete
  10. anyway, i think you have been tough enough to survive and get through that many attacks!! great and you are indeed a WONDERRIBBON!! and you impressed me that you can still made yourself busy, quickly fed both kids, bathed them, and rocked G to sleep, eyes kept looking at the clock and waited for the call, kept praying and survived through when Monday came, you went to work as usual and felt completely normal..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woi, you copy paste my sentence so that it will make your comment more lengthy izzit, keke.. Ya la, I know not everyone has experienced this, so I can't expect you to comment a lot also la.. But you know la, my blog is a rojak blog, anything can talk.. If always talking about food and baking and parenting only, ma boring , kan?

      Delete
  11. anyway, i think you got depressed when you got nothing to do and being alone?? because seems like if you are working and get yourself engaged with work, or you are with someone, that attack doesn't come at all??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes yes! Clever boy.. When I'm back to work ahh, I feel normal already.. Or when hubby reached home and I need to drag myself out to in laws' house, and when I'm around them talking and all, I feel normal already..

      Delete
  12. I got a friend that will cry herself in the car... and then she can pretend nothing happen when she walks out from the car..actly she is not ok...but pretend to be ok. Kesian kan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is your work load make you stress? Try to loosen your mind... just relax... Time reach just headed go home. You have a a beautiful family waiting for you.

      Anyway, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

      Delete
    2. Your friend cries alone in the car? Or someone is there to accompany her? Oh yes, I understand.. Once she gets out from the car, back to the working place, must stop crying already and act back to normal already lor.. Else, everyone will be asking why she cry, etc.. Farn also..

      Delete
    3. When I had bad depression, I go to the toilet and cry. The emotions and tears just comes and I cannot control it. But feel better after having a good cry and then can be normal again. But have to wash my face and make sure my eyes don't look red and swollen.

      Delete
    4. She cried alone... that was what she told me. Really feel depress from work station. Oh dear...

      Delete
  13. Oh dear. Maybe can consult a counsellor...or a psychiatrist - city living, not surprised. Too much pressure, too much stress...like the Peugeot lady who turned violent - the video is all over Facebook. All walking time-bombs, ready to explode. That's why it's nicer living in the small towns or the rural areas, more relaxed.

    P.S. From your title, I thought your post is going to be about the supernatural...ghosts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yalor you got the see the video, looks at the lady...crazy lor... coming out and started to shout and kicking the other car...

      Delete
    2. Yah there was actually a movie by that name!

      Delete
    3. Same with SK lah, he also thought the post is about being possessed.. Hehe..

      Delete
    4. Maybe I need a sugar daddy or a part-time boyfriend to help me with this problem.. Like when I need help, I'll go to him.. Once I'm fine, don't disturb my life..

      Delete
  14. Sorry to hear about your scary 'attack' and again sorry not able to comment or give any advice at all. Better you check with your doctor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's ok, this blog is for me to rant and express my feelings.. It's under control..
      By the way, I'm still curious.. Are you male or female? Indian or Chinese?

      Delete
    2. Great to know its under control and you are aware of what's happening. Good shall keep you in suspense. You slow slow read answer will surface in future.

      Delete
  15. Looks like so scary, I used to be like that last time, then I just assume I was too stress so later on I tried to relax and focus...then now is definitely fine!! Hope you're fine now or I guess the best is go see doctor in advanced, that's more secure!! =]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, girl, I missed you for a few days liao.. Why so quiet? I just came back from lunch.. You had lunch downstairs? My attacks are under control, don't worry, if it comes again, I think I know how to deal with it. I just need to call someone.

      Delete
    2. Louiz why don't you go pray. At least to stay you calm at work. Why kena attack from every angle? Then do have incident like people scratching your car? We have people do that in our place here...when they don't like something there do this... scary. Threatening...

      小影, I came to know more about you in the midst of SK post comments... guess you're pretty good and stable now. Still busy eh? must remember to eat and get enough of rest and of course don't forget us ya... we all miss you.

      Louiz don't worry in my principle every probs definitely will have a solution. Slowly... take a deep breath and stay focus! Keep our finger cross.

      Delete
    3. Sweetie Angeline, yes, your principle is right.. When there's a will, there's a way.. Get to know the root or the cause of the problem, and fight it.. I'm still finding my way through.. It's under control, don't worry about me ya..

      Delete
  16. Hi Louiz,

    Oh dear! I hope that you are ok now. Have you see a doctor regarding this? I have mild asthma attack when I was in my teen and I'm as tough as a bull now. I guess I was like this because I was overweight and my lung and heart can't cope with my pushing my limit exercise. Some how, I have managed to overcome this problem and now, can fight with bulls... LOL! I think you seek professional advises and get your problem fixed. Think about your kids... They need a healthy mum to chase after them. Am I right???

    Zoe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Zoe, good to see your comment.. The attacks are under control now.. If I'm happy and not lonely, the attacks won't come.. If I'm down, or something happened, or something mess up with my routine, then the attacks come.. Sounds scary, but I'm alright.. Oh don't worry, I still can shout like a mad woman everyday, hahaha..

      Delete
    2. Hi Louiz,

      How come got no update from your blog??? Hope that you are feeling better now :D

      Zoe

      Delete
  17. I just posted my comments but your blog said.....Your HTML cannot be accepted: Must be at most 4,096 characters...


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Gosh! I have to copy, cut and re post them in segments! Adoi! What a Grandma I am today!

      Delete
    2. (Part One)

      I have too much in my head to comment and dunno where to start. I truly sympathize with your case and am confident that you are now on the right track to self-recovery with so many caring sistas here. I might have to write a short novel here about my experience in seeing depressed people. Whatever I share below is just my own personal opinion.

      We humans need to have a Strong Mind always (24/7) which requires us to have balanced mental state, hormones and "Ying & Yang". We all live in this universe where our lives revolve around trillions of frequencies. What are frequencies? The list is very long and almost everything creates or comes from frequencies >>>> Happiness, Sadness, Anger, Tempers, Money, Ghosts, Watsap, Sms, Emails, Energy, Food, Drinks, Wind, Water, Daylights, Singing, Talking, Prayers and millions etc. We should put thoughts to all these invisible frequencies and learn to gather the good frequencies to benefit our well being. Sadly, more females would sometimes suffer from depressions and the most common one is called Melancholic Depression, after giving birth. They need to take a longer time to replenish & balance their body's stability again. Taking the right tonic & regular exercise helps, as I was being told.

      We cannot see the frequencies but we can feel them all the time. Many bloggers like to gather at SK's blog like a shrine because we can feel each other without meeting up. The frequencies can be channeled through the internet to make us laugh, happy, scold and even CB each other. So in other words, we click onto SK's blog to receive some online happiness to shiok sendiri lah. We start teasing, giggle and patting each other's heads like kids so that we can start the day right inside office and blah blah... The world is really an illusion, correct?

      Delete
    3. (Part Two)

      The closest victim I have known is my own wife. She grew up in a sad family upbringing where both parents were very abusive and extremely cruel. In her later years, she was betrayed by few friends and acquaintances to add on. The whole trauma and pain that she had gone through is not easy to write them in words.

      I learnt a lot through reading and observations to find ways to help her before encouraging her to sign up to study from University of East London's Clinical Hypnotherapy which was conducted at University Malaya. Today she has fully recovered from her long battle of depressions and helps to hypnothize patients who are referred to her from the centre. The hypnotherapy is an effective method to help one to slowly discard and let go all the negative vibes & traumatized past from their mind, so that they could move on with life and not keep falling back into depressions like how you said - Sometimes They Come Back....Again.

      My wife lectures in a private university today and her new classes of students each semester would always weep openly when they heard her life's stories. That was how bad and sad she had gone through. She shared with her students to motivate and encourage them to appreciate the good life they have been given by their parents today.

      Everyone has big & small problems or happiness & sadness too! We just need to stay mentally strong to face them as they will come & go like the tides in the ocean. How do I try hard to keep my mind strong and happy? I would be mindful & focus on good energy and try to gather around the good frequencies everyday.

      - I would go to gym often where great minds gather to exercise daily to have strong minds! Look at Blogger Lina who never stops running and her strong mind can move the universe! She would not waste her time with unnecessary things!

      - I would go for travels and short breaks whether in KL or overseas. This will recharge myself and distract myself from bad vibes.

      - I would walk around the food shelves of the supermarket when angry. The food's energy would bathe and calm my angry soul. I would end up buying a trolley of happy food. You should do cooking and gardening if that helps too. The plants and food has good energy! Not beer & alcohol!

      - I would go watch movies at least once a week to keep my mind focused with the story and distract my mind from outside world. This is good therapy for my wife who sees crazy students daily.

      - I would do prayers and listen to good music often. Please listen to happy frequency music and not JBieber!!!! (Argh!)...

      My nenek's comment is too long already..... I should cut and paste into my own blog lah!!! Adoi.

      Delete
    4. Wah, TM !! I'm impressed !!
      I saw your comment from the bottom before I scrolled up, and I thought they were spam comments! Coz normally spam comments are very long one, like yours..
      Wah, lucky you still could copy and paste here, coz after you clicked post comment only the error message pop up wei.. If you have to re-type again, I guess you wouldn't have written this long..

      Delete
    5. First & foremost, I didn't know my post today could attract so many comments.. Guess I have many good friends in the bloggersphere here.. And I'm happy again, really..

      Secondly, I cannot reveal too much in my blog, you know, some personal issues.. But I know I have to know the root of this cause, then chop it off, so that the attacks won't haunt me back.. I know the roots, I know what causes all these, BUT I cannot write about it here.. This post is only so much I can reveal, not more than that..

      Thirdly,I read your comment 3x.. And yes, you told me about your wife's abusive & unhappy past too.. I remembered you mentioned it a few times.. I can remember every word you said la TM..

      By writing this post, I wish to let people know more about anxiety attacks, and how they can deal with it.. For me, at that moment (let's not talk about exercising or going grocery shopping first), the correct way to do is to get up, go do something in the kitchen or something.. Then, have a cold shower.. Grab the phone, call somebody, or ask somebody to call back..

      Among all your suggestions, I'm interested to try the happy food and happy music method.. I know it will work for me.. The attacks are under control now, don't worry.. I will think of you and come back to this post when the attack comes.. it may sound scary, but believe me, I've get used to it, and am dragging myself out of it.. I just need time..

      I love you TM.

      Delete
    6. TM's advice is good. I am going to read again.

      Delete
    7. I read his comments for the 5th time already now..
      I really didn't know my post today could attract so many comments..
      Response better than cooking/baking/parenting/office politics post..

      Delete
    8. Wow TM, very geng comment. Kudos

      Delete
  18. I love you Phong Hong..

    But I think I love TM even more today.

    As usual, I also love SK, coz he's really cute and intellectual.. If he's single, I would have pounced on him.

    Oh, I also love Reana. She message me almost everyday.

    I love Sharon too, she was the first one who messaged me in FB and gave me her number and ask me to whatsapp her..

    Ok, now I love Chris also, coz he also gave me his number and ask me to hamsap him.. Ooops, typo, not hamsap him, but to message him..

    Ok, I also love Angeline, coz whatever she says makes sense, and she's right, whatever problem in this world, I believe there's a solution..

    Wait, I also love Xiao Ying.. Altho she's sweeter and younger than me, I still love her, ok?

    I love everyone in my blog today..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love you too, Louiz! See aren't you glad you shared your problem with us today? We all came out in full force to show you our support and love. Keep staying strong my dear!

      Delete
    2. Wah .... spreading love around.

      Delete
    3. Princess Ribbon, u didn't mention about STP, wait he sob and sulk in a corner...

      Delete
    4. Haha, okok, I love STP too, he is bubbly like a teddy bear, and I would love to give him a big hug if I see him :)

      Delete
  19. OMG, thanks for sharing this, now i know what happen to my own spiritual aka ghost story liao~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read your story.. I think it was becoz of stress and (mild) depression.. You were worried about getting a job and all and relatives would be asking a lot of questions during cny.. But it has passed.. Everyday will be a better day..

      Delete
    2. hopefully it will pass, dun mind i link ur blog in my latest post~

      Delete
  20. Sorry to hear about this Princess, it does sounds scary! But I thought anxiety attacks happen when we see/hear something we are afraid of, it will happen out of a sudden too?
    Did you consult any doctor about it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I do believe deep breathing helps to calm down the mind, and relax the muscle, no matter what, that's what Yoga teaches me to do as well.

      Anyway, you must stay strong and take care!

      Delete
    2. Thanks sweetie.. Yep, now I feel completely alright.. Most of the days I'm alright.. Just for that few minutes when the attacks come, I feel like shyte.. But now, I'm ok :)

      Delete
  21. Hello Princess Ribbon,

    Sorry to hear about this. Hope that you get enough rest and sleep as these anxiety attacks are prone to attack when the body is tired. Good to know that there are people who will message and stay online with you through these attacks.

    Does your husband know about this two anxiety attack incidents?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mun, yes he knows.. He suggested bringing me to see a doctor, not necessary for medication, but just to talk about it and see what causes all these.. I rejected and said no.. It's under control, and I can control it.. I just need to be happy and stress-free, then the attacks won't come..

      Delete
    2. I think it is caused by fatigue - tiredness mentally and physically since you wake up so early at 5am everyday and sleep late too. Also perhaps do a blood test on thyroid functions. Sometimes these can be caused by thyroid issues.

      Delete
  22. Oh, interesting you have this anxiety attack. Do you know pandas also get this type of attack? Hahaha!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are saying real pandas or you? hehe..

      Delete
  23. OK seriously, I also used to suffer from this type of attack - feeling cannot breathe, like I'm going to die or something. But it's kind of rare nowadays. I think mostly I exercised more and control my stress level then it's OK

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it doesn't OFTEN come, but it comes when I'm stressed or something happened, like if I'm traumatized..

      Delete
  24. Not sure if you have this, but sometimes when I want to recall something important and I can't remember what it is, I kinda get very stressed and that's when the attack comes! Nowadays, I just tell myself to relax, to let go, it's OK if I don 't recall. It's not important.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oohh, mine no.. Means you "mang chang" and geram izzit? For me, it's kan cheong or panic..

      Delete
  25. And sometimes the weather affect my anxiety level too. If it gets too hot, I can feel stressed out and start having some of the symptoms of an attack but I always stop it before it launches into full mode. I think distracting myself works very well. Stop focusing on the stress and it will just fade away by itself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think it's the weather.. Coz when the attack happened, the aircond was switched on.. And yet, cold sweat all over coz my heart was beating very fast, and I was feeling very scared, macam "cannot lose something" or "too dependent on something"..

      Delete
  26. Anyway, thanks for sharing! Good to know that there are people with these anxiety attacks. When I tell people about my symptoms, they normally think I am crazy.

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    Replies
    1. I tell my sister and hubby, they don't think I'm crazy.. But when my mum found out, she thinks I'm crazy and I'm hiding something from her.. She said there must be something which causes these attacks..

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  27. Oh btw, out of topic, are you on FB and Instagram? Add me there will you? That day, I ate kai lup mun fan and instantly reminded of you hahaha!! The photo is on my FB so if you follow me on FB you will see it LOL.

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    1. I think I see you in FB before, from other people friend's list.. I will go inside and add you later..

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  28. Sorry to hear that!

    What you're going through sounds a lot like panic attacks with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). I was diagnosed with that last time too and put on Xanax (alprazolam), Valium (diazepam), and Rivotril (clonazepam), at least over here.

    I was also on various SSRIs, NARIs and anti-psychotics at one point in my life - Risperdal, Remeron, Xypreza and Prozac (yes, all at the same time and from government hospital).

    I was diagnosed as bipolar but I don't believe that, it's just that I was quite messed up due to other things at that point and after two years, I quit all the anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers.

    Maybe that'll help? Try and see a psychiatrist and see what the doctor says.

    It's not weakness and there's no social stigma to admitting this in this day and age. I don't recommend going on benzodizepines for long term though (although it seems to be the thing that you need the most) - the anxiety comes back after 4 weeks and you're worse off, plus you'll be physically dependent and it's very hard to quit (and also dangerous if you quit cold turkey, was on benzos for over a decade!).

    Good luck!

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    1. Hi HB, nice to see your comment..

      There must be something causing these attacks, I must know the root, and work from there.. I'm very dependent, dependent on everything - hubby, even phone calls, everything.. You may think I'm crazy, but yep, say, I get these phone calls everyday.. And suddenly, you stop calling, I feel anxious.. Or if you've promised me something to be done tomoro, and suddenly, today you tell me you can't do it for me (or you can't come over, can't call, etc), I will get these blood-boiling-heart-beating-can't-live-without-it feeling and then, *bam*, the attacks come..

      I'm alright if people call me rightaway, or if I'm at a place with people..

      I don't think I need to see the doctor and get medication, but if the attacks shall come again, I will really have to consider going to see one..

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  29. Oh Princess, I feel for you. Wish I could give you a big hug now. *hugs* anyway.

    Just remember that all negative things will have to pass. I think the key thing in facing life's challenges is to try to think and do positive things as these will provide positive vibes for us to tackle or suppress the 'destructive' forces in our life. Strong positive mental attitude is a big plus here.

    We all have our share of responsibilities and whatnot, but making time for little pleasures of our own could take away some of that stress - some me-time can do wonders, I'm sure.

    Btw, instead of waiting for a call, ever thought about making that call to reach out to another human? I've read good things about the Befrienders. I think speaking to another understanding person could be an immediate help whenever it's needed. Managed to google you the number, keep it within reach, if necessary. Here it is: 03-7956 8144. My two cents here..

    I care..

    Keep up that spirit and that smile, Princess..

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    1. Thanks for your comment.. Yes I always tell myself to think about the good times and the positive, but it doesn't always work.. If only that's so simple.. Sometimes thinking about the past (and the good times) doesn't help.. Yup, agree with you, some small little things might just help, simple things, like taking a cold shower, or exercising maybe, like Chris said..

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  30. Wah your comments now sudah mencecah 100 leh... and today is even more than that. Wah boleh fight with SK's site already... muahaha

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    1. Sweetie.. The comments cecah 100 is inclusive of my comments too ma.. Hmm ya wor I also didnt know this topic can attract so many responses.. Better than cooking/baking/ranting post.. Keke..

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  31. Glad that you're okay now. I felt a bit nervous when I read your post !!

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  32. attacks...what attacks?

    Must think positive leh. dont think 5354

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