Warning: Rant and quite a long-winded post.
Those who know me should already know that I would be sending Kenzie to stay with my parents starting next year and we can only bring him back to stay with us during the weekends, and then, back to my parent's place again on Sunday evenings.
Those who know me should already know that I would be sending Kenzie to stay with my parents starting next year and we can only bring him back to stay with us during the weekends, and then, back to my parent's place again on Sunday evenings.
And those who read my blog regularly would already know the reason is because Kenzie will be attending his kindergarden. I have to depend on my mum (who stays in Cheras) to takecare of him and send him to the kindergarden nearby my mum's (and not send Kenzie to the kindergarden nearby my house) because we have to leave the house early in the morning and cannot make it to send him every morning.
Because of this, I am having sleepless nights. Not to mention how many times I cried too.
I am actually very reluctant to let go of my boy and only see him during the weekends. I am ready to make sacrifices, which include resigning from my job (and find something nearer to home) so that I can still fetch Kenzie around and not be separated from me.
God then showed a way.
Plan B.
Previously, I did not choose the kindergarden (let's just call it Kindy K) which is just nearby my house because of the morning timing. They operate from 8am onwards. School time would be from 8am-12pm. Daycare starts from 12pm-7pm. But the problem is, the hubs and I need to leave the house by 6.45am every morning because of the distance+location+traffic problem. Nobody was willing to take in my kid and open the door for us at 7am. The earliest they offer is 7.30am. I checked. I called. I asked.
But the day before yesterday, I didn't know why, I called the principle of Kindy K again (I first called her about half a year ago, but Kenzie was too young then to be enrolled). We chatted and I told her my problem.
She suggested to me. Why not:
1) "Transit" Kenzie at the current nursery at our usual time, meaning 6.45am (which is located just downstairs of our condo), and she will pick him up at 7.30am to bring to her kindy (meaning Kenzie waits at the nursery every morning for about 45 minutes). A small fee will be charged for this I am sure.
or
2) Send Kenzie to baby G's nanny (I send baby G down to the nanny's at 6.30am daily and then, go to work right away), let him stay there for about an hour, she will come to the nanny's house to pick him up at 7.30am and bring him to the kindergarden (in this case, I do not have to pay for Option # 1)
Long story cut short, we went to Kindy K to see the principle yesterday and we have decided to send Kenzie here because I didn't want to be separated from Kenzie. I am happy that God made a way for me when there seemed to be no way.
Fees is still not cheap though, have a look.
I don't like to reveal too much or personal stuffs in my blog, but look at what the grandma said last night. Grandma hung up on my call too. She made me feel like I am doing a very wrong thing and not good enough for my kid.
Monster mom, yikes!
ReplyDeleteNot understanding, heh?
Normally, it's monster-in-law (evil mother in law).
DeleteBut for this case, it's my own mom. Yeah, yikes!
Oh dear! Really sad and frustrating. I understand how you feel. But then again, the grandma also think the best for the grandkid, so i guess you just need to talk to her and explain. She would understand that you miss your kid too, like every other moms.
ReplyDeleteYep, couldn't sleep the whole nite.
DeleteCalled her last night after we went to Kindy K, but before I could finish, she hung up.
I really don't understand. Am I doing the wrong thing? Or she is not an understanding grandma?
I really sympathize with you over this matter and you are not alone. All my friends had their share in more terrible situations too. This is life and humans are really using their karma to trade with each other. If you try to understand this meaning, you will overcome them all. What is karma and how to to clear the bad ones and gather more good merits for oneself?? Most people are very ignorant and sweep them under carpets. They just live their lives and hit the walls, one after another. This is sad la but when there's a will there is a way. Just be strong and firm over this matter. Your parents will understand later as they know you have good intentions. I can see that they looked forward so much to have fun with the grandson. Maybe your parents are quite bored and lonely too.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't sleep whole nite. The girl you always call cheeky and naughty cried the whole nite and became depressed - for a moment.
DeleteHow many people can I please? I can't please everyone.
I am 32, and she still want to control my life like this?
She can still take Kenzie back when she comes to visit every Saturday, and let him spend the nite with them, then we go to her house on Sunday to take him back. Ok jugak rite, like this?
She talks as if I am doing a wrong thing.
really headache with all the logistics huh?? and i surely understand how you are not willing to be apart with Kenzie and only gotta see him during weekends.. i guess no mother in this world would like that to happen.. but at least now, you got a Plan B and seems it is going to work like how you wanted it to be.. :)
ReplyDeleteI will be firm and stick with this Plan B.
Deletebut i do have a Plan C, errr, just kaypoh only lah, you may not find this viable.. but for the sake of leaving a comment to support you.. i will say it lor, it's just a twist of situation only, hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteso the Plan C would be.. get your mom to stay with you together lor.. so that she can take care of Kenzie - send him to school and bring him back home from school.. like that don't even need to go to day care lah.. furthermore with your mom at home, she can do the housework and cook for the family.. and then probably she will get two days off to go back to her own house during weekend.. hehehe!! how about this?? :p
Plan C cannot la.. From lastime she already said she would not stay in my house.. She banyak complain one, she said she is not used to my area, no proper market nearby, no mahjong kakis, etc. So I know my mum. She would not come to stay with me one la..
DeleteLouiz, you have my sympathies. Your mum is just being a mum/grandma and she is reacting the way she is because she cares. But you my dear, must take charge. I support your decision because it is best for a child to spend his formative years with his parents for good emotional bonding and well being. Besides, you would want a stronger influence on how your child is brought up. I was brought up by my grandparents, whom I love dearly, but as a teenager my parents took me back. It was a very difficult time for me adjusting to my mum and likewise for her. My advise to all parents, wherever possible, take care of your own children. It is best for both parties. Your mum will calm down eventually. All the best, Louiz!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your comment, I feel better instantly! Thanks for making me feel better.
DeleteMy mum and I are still not talking. She's not replying my messages. Usually she will come to visit me every Saturday, and I doubt she will do so tomorrow.
The hubs and I are planning to go over to her place either tomorrow or Sunday. It's better to talk face-to-face I know.
Wish me the best.
Very hard decision to make. Your mom talked like that as she still treats you like her little girl. You will always be a little girl in her eyes. I think you just do what you think is the best for your kids. Follow your guts feelings. A mother's guts feelings are almost always right! All the very best 2 u!
ReplyDeleteFYI, we are still not talking. I can understand, but for so many days?
DeleteLet me reveal a bit. I know her.
1) I think it's the face. She told almost all her friends that she'll be taking care of cucu, and now, out of a sudden, no cucu.
2) She is lonely, so she wants to takecare of the cucu to pass her time. When we were in good terms, she always asked me to send Kenzie boy over to let her jaga when she has no mahjong kakis or no lunch appointment with her friends.
I would not be separated from my baby either. Weekend parenting is not for me, for sure! And seemingly not for you either. :)
ReplyDeletemaybe she was just really looking forward to spending time with her grandson ): moms can (still) be a pain though. hugs.
ReplyDelete