OMG!!!

A BFP on 12dpo! I couldn't believe it. Thanks to the bak foong pills and bak zhen. But I think it was the bak foong pills as I only started taking it last month after my period. And there, I got a BFP!

Yesterday evening after work, since I have a number of cheapies opk to spare, I pee'ed on them again as I was already suspicious because of the dark positive it gave me 2 days ago (11dpo). Guess what, it gave me a dark positive almost immediately again, which seldom happens even during ovulation.

So...... I couldn't help but tested with 2 different brands on upt, and yes, two lines, faint lines, but it's there.

Result:

Level of hcg is still low, due to very early stage. My period will not be due until this Friday. So, I tested 3 days early. But still, I am very happy already because the lines are there!

Hope this would be a sticky bean.

My prayer to God:
God, please forgive me for what I've said last week, that I hated You, that You were unfair and nothing good ever happened to me. God, please forgive my wrong doings and sins, my everything. I pray that Wong will have good health, long life, longer life than mine. I pray Kenzie will be happy and healthy everyday, free from harm, danger, sickness, falls, bug bites, everything. I thank God for this baby, and that I could conceive naturally. I pray that this baby sticks and to have a smooth natural pregnancy as how I had with Kenzie. I pray this baby will be healthy and normal. Let me get through the next 9 months smoothly. I pray everything will be just fine. I leave everything unto You. In God's name I pray, Amen.

The OPK Playing Me

I am a POAS addict, I could not help but pee'ed on them again last night as I still have a few more cheapies to spare. The second line immediately appeared and gave me a dark positive in no time! Usually the second line takes longer time to appear, and usually faint. But last night, result line was same colour with the test line!

I have read countless of times in the internet that the opk could detect hcg. If opk turns out to be positive when AF is due, chances are it will be a BFP. And I've read countless of times people found out about their BFP through the opk first.

Anyway, I am not putting any hopes for a BFP this month, because I just know I am not pregnant. I tested with a clearblue on 10dpo, and it was a BFN! I pee'ed on my opk, almost faint+evaporated line. So there, I can confirm I'm not pregnant.

I've lost hope and is certain AF will show up this week. But why now a dark positive on the opk?

The 2ww

The moment I am typing this, it's my 2ww (2 week-wait) and 7dpo. My period came on 7th July. Used OPK and tested positive on 19th July (cd13). I have been eating bak-foong pills since this month and bak zhen last month, both at the same time this month, once a week after my period.

BD'ed (baby-danced) on cd13 and 14. Right on cd15 (1dpo), my boobs started to feel sore. My boobs have NEVER felt that way before! Usually, it will only start to sore around 1 week before my period is due. But this time, 1dpo? WTF? Could it be a sign I have conceived? I know it's way too early to tell (I feel like an uneducated fool right now, pregnant at 1dpo, heck, the egg is not even implanted on my uterus yet). I also know the science. It takes a few hours for sperms to travel from the cervix to meet the egg. If conception takes place, it takes another 6-12 days for the egg to implant to the uterus. So, I can only test for pregnancy around 14dpo, ok, 12dpo the earliest. But heck, 1 dpo? I must be so stupid.

1dpo - sore boobs
2dpo - sore boobs
3 dpo - sore boobs
4 dpo - sore boobs
5 dpo - sore boobs
6 dpo - sore boobs
7 dpo (present) - sore boobs, something stuck on my throat when I'm swallowing, sides of my mouth turned blackish

So, there! This 2ww is killing me. By the way, I do not have any pregnancy test strips to pee on, so I pee on ovulation test strips from 3dpo til yesterday! Call me crazy! And yes, I'm a POAS (Pee On A Stick) addict. I've read somewhere that ovulation test stripes can detect LH, as well as HCG (ovulation and pregnancy hormone). So if the ovulation test strip has a double line on it, chances are I might be pregnant now.

Results on my ovulation test strips:
3dpo - faint line
4dpo - faint line
5dpo - lighter faint line (a bit devastated to see the result, but I tell myself, hey, darker lines will start coming back)
6dpo - more light faint line (I'm so feeling f**ked up)
7dpo - I am so going to pee on the stick again tonight

I will buy a pregnancy test kit this Saturday, which is my 9dpo. Ok, why this Saturday and not now if I am that desperate to POAS? Well, that's because Saturday is the day I can go to Jusco to buy household stuffs and groceries, before we visit the in laws. Weekdays from Mon-Fri is always: work, go home, work, go home. Ok, you may ask, no pharmacies around the area I stay? Answer: Yes, there is, but I do not know how to go! Bummer!

Lots of baby dust to myself!

*Updated on 27.07.2012 (8dpo)
7dpo - faint line in OPK. Bloated, nausea and fatigue before bedtime.
8dpo - boobs not as sore, but there is still some sore feeling (feeling f**ked up again). Nausea upon reaching office.

*Updated on 30.07.2012
BFN on 10dpo !! Ok, giving up already.
How come life is so unfair?
How come those who said they don't want anymore child always got pregnant? How come those who said they only want one child always manage to get pregnant with 2nd child? How come those who said they really want a child/want another child don't get it?

I'm contemplating whether or not to delete this post, as it is an eye sore looking at this post everyday.

Baby # 2 - In The Making

People say after you already have a baby, the second one will come easy. Well, I can confirm now that it is NOT TRUE (ok, maybe for somebody else, they can conceive easily, but not me).

TTC:
Before marriage - nah, not a problem, who cares? Not married yet what, so no need to rush. If pregnant already how to fit into my wedding dress?

After marriage; 1st month - I don't think I am one of those who will take 10 years to get pregnant. I think I am not infertile. The word infertile sounds so scary. Like, barren. Puh-leese. I am young, my period is consistent every month, I think I am going to get pregnant this month. It's simple, have sex, shoot the little swimmers inside, there!

2nd month - Nevermind, last month did not conceive, this month will definitely conceive.

3rd month - No issues. Afterall, I have just been married for 3 months. No pressure.

4th month - Am I doing it the correct way? (positions, timing, etc)

5th month - Friends one by one slowly getting pregnant. They announce all over in FB. Stupid fools.

6th month - Been married for half a year already. Still not pregnant. Starting to feel the jitters. Am I infertile? What's wrong with me? My tubes and eggs ok? Hub's little swimmers ok?

7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th month - Continue to f**k like a routine/homework/duty.

***Many things happened along the way which I would not mention here (although it's my own private blog). I've gone through chinese and western methods, took pills like bak-foong pills, clomid, boil herbs, spent loads on ovulation testers, pregnancy testers, you name it. Finally resort to hormone injections and western medication.

14th month - Finally pregnant with Kz

Fast forward to:
Present (June 2012) - Trying for 2nd baby since months ago. No news.
Feeling: F**ked up.