***Warning:
This is not a nice post. Not something I would choose to write in my cute pink polka blog, but I feel I have to blog about my feelings after meeting up with my good friend for lunch the other day.
My friend met up with me for lunch the other day. She is my very good friend, an ex-colleague from my very first company I worked with after graduation. That was almost about 10 years ago! And we are still keeping in touch til today. Her hubby has an affair, and it was going on for 2 years without her knowledge. She finally found out about it, and long story cut short, she is in the midst of getting a divorce. She has sold their current house, bought another house to stay with her 8 year-old daughter, and hubby has also bought another house. Many changes needed to be done, many changes needed to be adapted, many changes needed to be get used to - again. It was hard to accept, because her hubby was a very nice man, a gentleman, very loving to his kid and family (before his wife found out about the affair).
Something to ponder.
What if one day, I find out my hubby has an affair. What would I do?
1) Will I close one eye and pretend nothing happened for the sake of the kids?
2) Will I talk to him calmly and tell him I can forget about everything and treat as nothing ever happened if he breaks the affair and come back to me for the sake of the kids again (Even if he says yes, there will be a scar, and I don't think I will trust him again)
3) Will I go to the "ugly" side: Confront the other party, check on her, stalk her, "make it big" and mess things up and hell, I don't know what will happen next
I never thought of this before (because I feel it won't happen to me, but after I knew about my friend's case, anything can happen in future). Just what if.......
People changed ...
ReplyDeleteYup, human will change. Anything can happen.. Scary...
Deletewe can never foresee what's going to happen next in our lives.. whatever it is, i guess stay calm and rational and then settle things down in order are most important.. once you get emotional sure you are going to mess things up though that's not really your intention.. always prepared for the worst while we still hope for the best.. hmmm, easy to say but tough to do lah~~ :)
ReplyDeleteanyway, *touch wood* if things happen, never ever try (3) lah.. it's surely the worst thing one could do ever and definitely going to make everything end up as ugly as it could.. of course, i don't hope that will happen to you.. wishing you and your hubby living happily ever after~~ :)
ReplyDeleteMy friend did # 3, so, it ended up with divorce. *shrug*
DeleteWah, I also dunno why this post will end up in my blog.. Sensitive issue, and not a nice thing to write about.. But, well, just something to ponder. And of course, I hope (not hope, but must make sure) it wont happen to me, and that me and the hubs will be happy and together-gether ever after..
This betrayals by spouses have been going on for centuries even being recorded in the Qing Palaces of China. When it happens to our friends or siblings, it becomes disturbing.
ReplyDeleteMy sister's first hubby was a world class flirt and liar. They lived in Damansara Heights and her hubby kept his mistress nearby in Bangsar. He was a frequent flyer and lived in 2 homes. No words could describe the pain my sister went through before dumping him.
My brother is he world first class handsome playboy and flirted until he got charmed by his business partner with the help of a bomoh's kong thau. Now his wife has left him with the kids, not after I had a big dispute with him as well. Time will decide their fate now.
So many of my married friends have divorced due to 3rd parties as well. It looks like a trend these days!
I'm sorry to hear about your sister and brother. Your sister have any kids? You know, when this kinda thing happens, the victims are the kids. Pity the kids. Some decided to close 1 eye and "yan" for the sake of the kids. And I hope your brother is doing ok now and all the kong thau has been removed.
DeleteI read an article that the geographical feng shui in Korea is not good due to its very sharp like mountains everywhere which you can see them clearly in Winters. This affects the relationships of families which is so true as Korea has one of the highest rates of suicides and divorces in the world today! So scary..
ReplyDeleteIt means we need to check the feng shui of our homes for better health, wealth and family happiness. I was also told that most houses have smaller gates besides the big main gate for the cars to enter. The small gates are able to attract 3rd parties and it really happened to many people.
I am always looking forward to read what you have to write you know? Very interesting man you are, TM.. *P/S: I'm not flirting with you
DeleteReally? I thought highest rates of suicides is in Japan, where they go into this forest (forgotten the name), and they let themselves get lost in this forest, and eventually die. Those who entered the forest never came out.
But oh, sorry, ran out of topic. You are talking about suicides due to family problems and divorces. Maybe Japan's suicides is due to work pressure and daily stress..
Something to ponder. Small gates in double storey I know. But what about condos and apartment? All also "small gates" wor...
Read the list where Korea ranks no 1 and 2...
ReplyDeleteDivorce:
http://www.siliconindia.com/news/general/10-Countries-With-the-Highest-Divorce-Rates-nid-117135-cid-1.html
Suicides:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_suicide_rate
http://terrific-top10.com/2012/04/08/top-10-countries-with-the-highest-suicide-rates/
You really impress me TM.
Delete*P/S: I'm again, NOT flirting with you
wow, Twilight geh reply was great, guess there is still long way for me to go... aiks..
ReplyDeleteHello Mr Lonely. Thanks for dropping by my blog. Will hop to your blog too. Still a long way to go ahh? Yeah, I saw in your profile that you are still a student. Student life is the best, man! The only thing I ever had to worry about when I was studying was: Not failing & getting ok results, thats all. Never had to worry about anything else.
Delete