I don't know how to write in Chinese but it's called 'dang ga gau woon' in Cantonese. In Mandarin, it's called 'deng jia jiao huan' (I got help from my colleague, if you are wondering).
You see, I am offering to take care of my neighbor's girl, baby S, every 1st and 4th Saturday for half a day from 8am - 1pm (as she is working). In return, she helps to fetch Kenzie to school everyday. What? I am "sitt dai"? Wait, read on.
Kenzie's kindergarten opens around 7.30am (school starts at 8am-12pm, daycare until 7pm) but we usually need to leave the house by 7am to beat the jam. This neighbor, let's call her K. Ok, just in case you are wondering, before this, we both sent our kids to the nanny. We want the kids to join the kindy and treated it as playschool.
Back to K, she works nearby (and I mean very nearby) and she leaves the house at 8am. Before she enrolled baby S into this kindy, she came to see me and we talked about this. So I offered to takecare of baby S while she works, and in return she fetches Kenzie to the kindy every morning. In the morning we will send Kenzie to her house around 7am, and then we will leave for work. She then fetches Kenzie (and also baby S) to the kindy at 8am.
Pssst, I saved RM165 per month by just taking care of baby S for two Saturdays a month. If I were to depend on the kindy's transportation and also 'borrow' a 'waiting place' (say, at the nanny's) every morning from 7am-8am (until the kindy's transport comes), I would have to pay the nanny RM100 per month. The transport fees cost RM65 (one way). So it's RM165 saved every month! I have nothing to complaint. She eats what Kenzie eats, plays what Kenzie plays and sleeps when Kenzie sleeps.
But it's not easy taking care of 3 kids on Saturday when the hubs is working and I'm alone. I have to be more alert, more aware and give them extra attention, because I'm taking care of another toddler. Like direct translation in Cantonese, taking care of "other people's daughter". I never leave my eye sight off them for even a minute, and believe me, it's exhausting, both mentally and physically, sometimes emotionally too. Especially when Kenzie fights with baby S for toys, or when baby G tries to snatch something from baby S (or Kenzie), trying to make them sleep, the list goes on. It's E.X.H.A.U.S.T.I.N.G!
But I know I cannot complaint because I have no choice.
**Updated: Read my comments below and you will know I have other sets of problems pertaining to this.
**Updated: Read my comments below and you will know I have other sets of problems pertaining to this.
等價交換.. wow, this Princess Ribbon though not Chinese educated but she also know this term, i mean this is indeed a very proper term also woh.. because some will just say "maat maat gao woon" (物物交換) which is like a lower level of barter, which you just exchange base on the number of items and not the value.. but this 等價交換 is higher level one, because it's based on the value and not the number of items.. hahaha, you understand what i am trying to say?? errr, don't understand also never mind lah, just talking nonsense only~~ :D
ReplyDeletebut i don't think Princess Ribbon got any rugi lah.. because she just take care of Baby S for two half Saturdays mah, but the neighbour K gotta also take care of Kenzie every morning and then fetch him to the kindergarten.. okaylah, neighbours mah, it's better to help each other and build good relationships than not knowing each other like many of us nowadays "practice".. must be this Princess Ribbon kaypoh lah, go around the neighbourhood and kacau K to find lobang for Kenzie's logistic to his kindergarten~~ haha!!
Deletebut you are right lah, it actually gives you pressure and a lot of responsibility to take care of other people's children leh.. good say not good listen and touch wood lah, i say if lah, touch wood anything happen, if your own kid then you just gotta say you are unlucky, but if other people's kid then you use what to compensate right?? that's why i understand, you are actually paying more attention on Baby S than two of your boys lor.. so every 1st and 4th Saturday of the month, you sure very super stress lah??
DeleteI actually learnt this phrase from a TVB drama years ago. I don't know what is the title of the drama, but the main actors are Wong Chi Wah and Charmaine Seh..
DeleteOh wait, I think I remember, the drama name is "Chit Doi Xiong Kiu".. This Wong Chi Wah talks a lot of "dou lei" inside the drama, and I love this drama.. I think I like all his movies, very meaningful one, if you concentrate on his words..
Yep, super stress on Friday already if I know baby S is coming on the next day. Like you said, if my own kids scratch each other, I can scold and use the cane and blog about it to express my feelings. But if it happens to baby S, I have to "gao doi" with K, sure "mm song" jor lor.. Even some mosquito bites and blue blacks also my heart feel not good liao..
ya lor....taking care of other people kids not easy.
DeleteYou also have to take care and think what to entertain K kid with leh. Watch TV only then K might not like pulak.
I often heard of mothers sharing duties to baby sit or fetch their kids. That would be a big relief on both sides with a Win-Win formula. Now you saved RM165 and she probably made RM500 or more working on both Saturdays. It just took some smart moves to lessen the stress while making money.
ReplyDeleteYep, agree with you, it's a win-win situation.. But then, think deeply. Depend on people also very mafan also you know. On days when baby S is cranky and doesn't want to go to kindy, K will sms and tell us last minute that baby S is not going to kindy that day. So we have to drop Kenzie to the kindy ourselves that day (and hubs gotta be late for work)..
DeleteAnd.... don't mean to gossip, but I just need to rant. K went back to her hometown in Sarawak last Monday, and will be back next week. So means baby S will not be going to the kindy for 2 weeks. Hubs has no choice but to talk to his boss and let him know he will be late to work for 9 (working days), and deduct 2 days of AL becoz of this.
See, this is another problem having to depend on people, but what choice do I have?
Hmm...looks like this batter system also cause disatisfaction .
DeleteMust handle it carefully lor. Else next time no good relation with neighbour.
Cannot help it also as K have to go back home town mah. Like if you go holiday on Saturday how?
Alternatively, cannot drop KZ to kiddie a bit early ka? J punya kiddie quite flexible. can talk to the principal punya leh
I know it will drain you mentally but a word of my usual advice - Learn to control the situations and not allow the situations to control you...!
ReplyDeleteSo plan ahead how to control the 3 babies while you could enjoy readings on Saturdays! Ask Small Kucing la, she is expert Mama!
If you read my comment above (your previous comment before this one), then you will know why I am mentally and emotionally stressed. Every morning, or everyday is like a time bomb. My heart would be thinking "will there be any call today from K telling me that baby S will not be going to school tomoro"? You un mou?
DeleteI had wild thoughts that someday when kenzie gets married, you will flash photos on the slide shows during dinner. Kenzie and the bride were playmates during babies!!! Muahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteThe word "wild thought" sound weird, hehe. But I seriously hope my future daughter in law will not be baby S, coz her mum (K) is very fussy. She asks what I cook for baby S, what fish I use to boil the soup I will be serving her girl, how I boil my soup, no eggs, no cheese, no cold drinks, no fried rice, no heaty food, no nonsense like Ribena).. Kill me now. See, if I don't tell you, you won't know I too, have my own set of problems eh?
DeleteNo need dai or mmm dai... at least you have someone to chauffeur your kid to kindy.. and a trusted one too... sometimes lose or win some.. ok one..
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, i think you are very dai... hahahaa...
I try to think like you to make myself feel better.
DeleteRead all my comments from the beginning (reply to SK and TM), then you tell me I am "dai" or not.
I had gone through such situations before when my kids were young. I had to depend on others and sometimes very troublesome too. But at least we could depend on each other. It's a blessing indeed!
ReplyDeleteYeah, telling myself not to complaint, coz depend on people already expected to be troublesome one, especially when the other kid is sick or family back to hometown for weeks and not going to school, and we have to think of our own ways, like this 2 weeks.
DeleteGood barter system wor. win win situation.
ReplyDeleteyeah taking care of other people kid not easy leh. If fall down or what also susah. Then if scold also cannot really scold.
Some things we dont pantang but the mother might no like. Susah leh
Sometimes if I feed "simple" food, I keep quiet and don't tell her mum lor, and hope her mum doesn't ask, hehe. "Simple" food could be bread, and a yogurt after that, and to keep them quiet, maybe some Ribena. But I kept quiet on the Ribena though.
DeleteSusah lah hor? Quite pening also even though you found a solution. Got positive and negative. I read all the above comments and I have to salute you for being patient. Take a day at a time. Easier said than done, I know.
ReplyDeleteYep, susah jugak. I can tolerate the mosquito bites or blue blacks or what-fish-you-use-to-boil-soup-for-my-daughter or no-ribena-no-eggs-no-cheese-no-fried rice-no this-no that, but when they are away for 2 weeks or when baby S is sick+not going to school, that's the time I headache+stress lor, but then again, I know I cannot complain, like in Cantonese, the saying goes "hai kam ger la" (it's like that if wana depend on people)..
DeleteSure is great to have someone to help out...even if a little. Give a little, take a little - have to understand that everyone has problems too and be thankful. Hard to manage on one's own, that's for sure. Been there, done that.
ReplyDeleteAgree. One day at a time... In cantonese 'ya yat kor ya yat' lor.. (one day pass one day)...
DeleteIt really is NOT easy caring for so many toddlers. Just turn on the TV to bbsit them when you need to do something urgent like pee, poo or bathe. Good luck to you. I know you can do it ;)
ReplyDeleteI hate to admit, but the TV is on basically the whole time from 8am the moment Baby S arrives and until 1pm, when it's time for them to nap (sometimes I can't put them to nap because I don't know how to make them nap all at the same time, so I just let the TV on). I had to depend on that TV.. I just had to.
Delete