What Choice Do I Have?

Warning - a very long winded post ahead. Please only read it when you really have the time and intend to leave sincere comments.

This post has been saved in my draft for the past few days. I was actually thinking very hard, whether or not to publish this post because this is my personal issue, and I don't usually post (very) personal issues in my blog. 

I prefer to just stick to my amateur one-pot & rojak cooking, simple baking, crazy parenting issues alongside with some "kun yam ping" (slave soldiers) at work and occasionally, some nonsense. But in the end, last last, I still decide to publish this post. I need to rant. I so need this.

Before you skip my story and scroll straight to the bottom to see the screenshot, let me story you first. You need to know the whole story, yes?

If you remember my story Kenzie was supposed to stay with my parents this year for the sake of him going to the kindy. We need to work and leave the house early (7am), so there's no way we can fetch him to the kindy every morning without being late to work (we asked, the kindy around our area opens at 7.30am the earliest). Therefore, we agreed when my mum offered to takecare of Kenzie. But we found a solution and managed to get help from our neighbor who sends her kid to the same kindy. So Kenzie need not go live with my parents and he can be by my side everyday. God was kind to us.

Then, there's baby G. What about baby G, you might ask. Ok, all the while, from birth, baby G was taken care by the nanny who lives in the same block of our condo. She is the same nanny who took care of Kenzie. We live on the 12th floor, she lives on the 6th. Every morning before I go to work at 6.30am, I send baby G to the nanny, and I pick him up at 6.45pm when I arrive home. 

So ok, I got my wish, both kids with me everyday and we don't need to be separated. Perfect life? Wait, read on.

About two weeks before CNY this year, I realized there was something not right with the nanny. Every morning when I carry baby G to her, I would have to wait for a long time before she comes to open the door. I could feel she is standing just next to the door, but purposely delay in opening the door for me. And when she opens the door, she would look at me with angry eyes and face full of hatred. She talks to me in a rude tone and looks at me like I'm a freak. She tells me every night, she could hear "ghosts" singing, and that there are many things missing in her house like her keys, clothes, food and other what-nots and says the "ghosts" took them. She even says the "ghosts" come in and cut baby G's hair! She also throws away the porridge that I cook which I bring to her every morning for baby G (don't ask how I know) because she says I cook rubbish for the baby. But when I ask her in the evening did baby G finish the porridge, she says yes! And this is the part where I behtahan most, she says the "ghosts" come in and exchange her meat in the fridge. She swore she bought kampung chicken, but when she wanted to cook the chicken, it has "turned" into chicken bones! (I don't know whether to laugh or cry hearing this statement from her). She bad-mouths me to other neighbors saying I'm not a good mum and I "don't know how to become a mummy" (direct translation in Chinese). OMFG!

Our relationship was good before this. I always think of her and buy her many things, like food that she likes to eat. She sometimes ask me to buy meat, fish & vegetables from the market, which I did, and I never took her money. I also never question her or ask many questions about baby G everyday. Every morning, I only tell her what time baby G drank his milk. In the evening, I only ask two things: 1) Aunty, baby got poo or not? 2) Aunty, what time baby drink milk justnow? That's all. I even keep quiet about the daily "thrown" porridge! Am I not good enough? I keep my eyes closed on many things, and as long as baby G comes back a healthy baby, I will continue to keep my eyes closed.

Ok, I know it's not good to continue talking about the nanny here, so I will stop here. 

To cut a long story short, I decided to stop her service and called my mum right away that morning. She asked me to take away baby G from this "gila" nanny immediately and agreed to help me take care of him. So now, our routine is to take back baby G from my mum's place after work every Friday, and send back baby G to her place every Sunday. It's not for long term if you know me. We have our plans. 

Few days ago, mum whatsapp-ed me and asked me have I found a nanny / am I finding a nanny for baby G. And that was not the first time. She hinted many times already, and it kinda pissed me off. I don't know about your feeling when you are reading this, but I don't feel very good everytime she asks me that question. 

Hello, what choice do I have? You think I want my baby to be separated from me and I only get to see him two days a week? After I replied, she changed the subject and asked about other things, and "pretended" to send me a picture of baby G. 

End of rant. Thank you for reading.