A Letter To My Blog

Dear Blog,

I can't tell anyone else. The readers of my blog (and also the commenters) are people I don't know, so I think it's ok. 

So, I asked her, what's so good about him and why are you still hanging on to him. I just fell in love, she said. And I won't always be young forever, she added.

He is married with kids. She is married with a kid. They have an affair. But it is over now. Actually it's not really over, because she has started to fall in love with him. When they started about half a year ago, they agreed this was just a "game" and "just to be happy only" (direct translation in Chinese - hoi sum jor jau suen). Both wanted to "try" out, for the "thrill". He fell in love with her after 1 month into this affair. Very very deeply in love. He missed her everyday, called her everyday and he told her he would die without her. But she said they agreed this was just a "game" from day1, no feelings must be involved. We are adults, she said. You have your family, I have mine. But when we have chance to be alone, then we can talk about us, do what we feel like doing and that's it. And then, one fine day, his wife found out, sort of. He kept her picture in his handphone, and saw some messages she sent to him. He was stupid he did not delete the picture and the messages. So, the interrogations started, the threatening, the fear of "losing all" and all. Ever since, he slowly withdrew, and during this time, she started to fall in love! Maybe during the time she was "having it" she never cared, but when she started to "lose it", she wanted it back. 

Today, she is trying to get over it. It has been three months. She can't. It's hard. It's difficult. She still thinks of him everyday. If you have been crazily loved by someone, and out of a sudden, you "lost" it, and you started to fall in love with him that very moment, you will know the feeling, she says. He still loves her, but nothing must happen, nothing, he tells her. He has withdrawn his previous actions tremendously and he too, is trying to lead a normal life with his family, back to the days before he started the affair with her. She still feels "empty" and "lonely" and "missing him", she calls it "that feeling". I ask her to think of her husband and her girl when "that feeling" comes. It doesn't always work. The next day, "that feeling" comes back, she says.

Not only she needs to lie to her husband for the rest of her life, she needs to lie to herself too, telling herself that everything will be fine, she can get over this and this is just a passing phase. Time will heal and this too, shall pass.

I hope I can tell her what to do. Why do friends around me have so much of this problem recently?

Dog Biscuits

No, not for dogs to eat, tee hee.

It looks like a cute dog, so I name it dog biscuits. I have not been baking much, if you are observant. So it's time to publish a baking post. I was on leave the other day and since I had nothing much to do in the morning (after sending Kenzie to the kindy), I decided to bake these dog biscuits.

I followed the recipe from here. After tasting the cookies, I think it tasted exactly like mine from here so the next time I decide to bake these dog biscuits again, I will stick to the simple "1,2,3 (100g sugar, 200g butter, 300g flour) recipe". Easier to remember the ingredients, hehe.

Here are the dry ingredients.  

And here's the chocolate rice (for the dog's eyes), chocolate chips (for the dog's nose) and Koko Krunch (for the dog's ears).

On the way to the oven, yay! Ok ok, I know some of my dogs look like freak dogs, and some have retarded eyes, and some have swollen heads.

But who cares? They tasted really good, like Danish butter cookies (with chocolate chips). Here's my dog biscuits, which I have cooled and put into an air-tight container, ready to bring to the office the next day for some colleagues.

Here's a closer look at my dog biscuits, haha (Yeah, I know, what a name).

Out of topic, but since I did not go to work and stayed at home most of the time that day, I cooked dinner as well. The hubs suggested eating out but I said I will cook, no issue. I fried simple bihun (with shredded eggs)

and roasted half a chicken using very simple ingredients. Just oyster sauce, tomato sauce, some Lea & Perrins, onions (for stronger taste) and potatoes (for presentation only). 

What Choice Do I Have?

Warning - a very long winded post ahead. Please only read it when you really have the time and intend to leave sincere comments.

This post has been saved in my draft for the past few days. I was actually thinking very hard, whether or not to publish this post because this is my personal issue, and I don't usually post (very) personal issues in my blog. 

I prefer to just stick to my amateur one-pot & rojak cooking, simple baking, crazy parenting issues alongside with some "kun yam ping" (slave soldiers) at work and occasionally, some nonsense. But in the end, last last, I still decide to publish this post. I need to rant. I so need this.

Before you skip my story and scroll straight to the bottom to see the screenshot, let me story you first. You need to know the whole story, yes?

If you remember my story Kenzie was supposed to stay with my parents this year for the sake of him going to the kindy. We need to work and leave the house early (7am), so there's no way we can fetch him to the kindy every morning without being late to work (we asked, the kindy around our area opens at 7.30am the earliest). Therefore, we agreed when my mum offered to takecare of Kenzie. But we found a solution and managed to get help from our neighbor who sends her kid to the same kindy. So Kenzie need not go live with my parents and he can be by my side everyday. God was kind to us.

Then, there's baby G. What about baby G, you might ask. Ok, all the while, from birth, baby G was taken care by the nanny who lives in the same block of our condo. She is the same nanny who took care of Kenzie. We live on the 12th floor, she lives on the 6th. Every morning before I go to work at 6.30am, I send baby G to the nanny, and I pick him up at 6.45pm when I arrive home. 

So ok, I got my wish, both kids with me everyday and we don't need to be separated. Perfect life? Wait, read on.

About two weeks before CNY this year, I realized there was something not right with the nanny. Every morning when I carry baby G to her, I would have to wait for a long time before she comes to open the door. I could feel she is standing just next to the door, but purposely delay in opening the door for me. And when she opens the door, she would look at me with angry eyes and face full of hatred. She talks to me in a rude tone and looks at me like I'm a freak. She tells me every night, she could hear "ghosts" singing, and that there are many things missing in her house like her keys, clothes, food and other what-nots and says the "ghosts" took them. She even says the "ghosts" come in and cut baby G's hair! She also throws away the porridge that I cook which I bring to her every morning for baby G (don't ask how I know) because she says I cook rubbish for the baby. But when I ask her in the evening did baby G finish the porridge, she says yes! And this is the part where I behtahan most, she says the "ghosts" come in and exchange her meat in the fridge. She swore she bought kampung chicken, but when she wanted to cook the chicken, it has "turned" into chicken bones! (I don't know whether to laugh or cry hearing this statement from her). She bad-mouths me to other neighbors saying I'm not a good mum and I "don't know how to become a mummy" (direct translation in Chinese). OMFG!

Our relationship was good before this. I always think of her and buy her many things, like food that she likes to eat. She sometimes ask me to buy meat, fish & vegetables from the market, which I did, and I never took her money. I also never question her or ask many questions about baby G everyday. Every morning, I only tell her what time baby G drank his milk. In the evening, I only ask two things: 1) Aunty, baby got poo or not? 2) Aunty, what time baby drink milk justnow? That's all. I even keep quiet about the daily "thrown" porridge! Am I not good enough? I keep my eyes closed on many things, and as long as baby G comes back a healthy baby, I will continue to keep my eyes closed.

Ok, I know it's not good to continue talking about the nanny here, so I will stop here. 

To cut a long story short, I decided to stop her service and called my mum right away that morning. She asked me to take away baby G from this "gila" nanny immediately and agreed to help me take care of him. So now, our routine is to take back baby G from my mum's place after work every Friday, and send back baby G to her place every Sunday. It's not for long term if you know me. We have our plans. 

Few days ago, mum whatsapp-ed me and asked me have I found a nanny / am I finding a nanny for baby G. And that was not the first time. She hinted many times already, and it kinda pissed me off. I don't know about your feeling when you are reading this, but I don't feel very good everytime she asks me that question. 

Hello, what choice do I have? You think I want my baby to be separated from me and I only get to see him two days a week? After I replied, she changed the subject and asked about other things, and "pretended" to send me a picture of baby G. 

End of rant. Thank you for reading.

Belated V-Day

Whilst everyone celebrated V-day on the day itself, me and the hubs celebrated a couple of days later. 

No, not because we are being cheapskate to avoid expensive food on that day (but to avoid the crowd, yes), but because on Fridays, we need to pickup baby G from my mum's place after work. So it would be too late if we were to celebrate V-day and eat out before going to my parent's place.

So we celebrated V-day on Sunday (instead of Friday) at Milwaukee Steak Corner located in Balakong (nearby Jusco Cheras Selatan). We went to my parent's place that day, and Milwaukee is on the way back to our hut. So, Milwaukee we went.  

We actually planned to have escargots, but when we saw the picture of the escargots in the menu, it was not appetizing as the whole thing is basically "flooded" in mashed garlic only, dry version - without gravy (we were expecting baked escargots in garlicky creamy cheese sauce, au-gratin style). So we ordered these baked cheese mussels for appetizer (because this was actually what we wanted to see on top of our escargots, heh). He wanted oxtail soup as well, but it was not available.

I am not adventurous and always order safe-and-simple food, so I had the chicken maryland because I like fried banana fritters. The banana fritter was crunchy and crispy outside, and very very sweet, soft & juicy inside.

The hubs had lemongrass chicken and it was pretty simple which came together with a simple salad and a few slices of keropok only. He wanted to have something light as his tummy was not feeling well that day. If not, he would have settled for the ribeye steak.

Call me a glutton, but we always order another main course to share. So we shared this chicken carbonarra. It was very nice and I almost licked polished the whole plate clean, not letting go even a single drop of gravy.

And lastly, for dessert, we tried their chocolate brownie which was served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. We initially planned to order the banana split as we were already very full and it was less fattening, but on second thoughts, nahhh, just go all out and have the chocolate brownie instead! Eat first, diet later.

Not advertising, but the food here boleh tahan if you want to try. I like coming to Milwaukee because it was one of our early dating place. The hubs used to bring me here for dinner during our courting days. 

Oohh, just in case you are wondering, no flowers for me on V-day.

Barter System (Deng Jia Jiao Huan)

I don't know how to write in Chinese but it's called 'dang ga gau woon' in Cantonese. In Mandarin, it's called 'deng jia jiao huan' (I got help from my colleague, if you are wondering). 

You see, I am offering to take care of my neighbor's girl, baby S, every 1st and 4th Saturday for half a day from 8am - 1pm (as she is working). In return, she helps to fetch Kenzie to school everyday. What? I am "sitt dai"? Wait, read on.

Kenzie's kindergarten opens around 7.30am (school starts at 8am-12pm, daycare until 7pm) but we usually need to leave the house by 7am to beat the jam. This neighbor, let's call her K. Ok, just in case you are wondering, before this, we both sent our kids to the nanny. We want the kids to join the kindy and treated it as playschool. 

Back to K, she works nearby (and I mean very nearby) and she leaves the house at 8am. Before she enrolled baby S into this kindy, she came to see me and we talked about this. So I offered to takecare of baby S while she works, and in return she fetches Kenzie to the kindy every morning. In the morning we will send Kenzie to her house around 7am, and then we will leave for work. She then fetches Kenzie (and also baby S) to the kindy at 8am.

Pssst, I saved RM165 per month by just taking care of baby S for two Saturdays a month. If I were to depend on the kindy's transportation and also 'borrow' a 'waiting place' (say, at the nanny's) every morning from 7am-8am (until the kindy's transport comes), I would have to pay the nanny RM100 per month. The transport fees cost RM65 (one way). So it's RM165 saved every month! I have nothing to complaint. She eats what Kenzie eats, plays what Kenzie plays and sleeps when Kenzie sleeps.

But it's not easy taking care of 3 kids on Saturday when the hubs is working and I'm alone. I have to be more alert, more aware and give them extra attention, because I'm taking care of another toddler. Like direct translation in Cantonese, taking care of "other people's daughter". I never leave my eye sight off them for even a minute, and believe me, it's exhausting, both mentally and physically, sometimes emotionally too. Especially when Kenzie fights with baby S for toys, or when baby G tries to snatch something from baby S (or Kenzie), trying to make them sleep, the list goes on. It's E.X.H.A.U.S.T.I.N.G! 

But I know I cannot complaint because I have no choice.

**Updated: Read my comments below and you will know I have other sets of problems pertaining to this.

RM14

Last week, I had the most expensive lunch (in a food court) of my life! RM14 for a plate of braised chicken rice (lou gai farn). 

If you know me, you would already know I'm working in Ara Damansara, and the nearest place we always go for lunch would be Oasis and any areas nearby. So we went to this food court DoReMi (which is our regular lunch place) but that day was the first time I tried their lou gai farn.

I asked for a plate of lou gai farn with additional oink oink intestines and an egg. When the waiter came and asked for RM14, I was stoned for like 2 seconds.

Is it only me or you had a shock too?

After Work

We went for a simple dinner after work nearby my workplace. The hubs was not at work, so he took this opportunity to pickup Kenzie boy earlier from the kindy, and let him tag along when he came to pick me up from work. We then went to Chili's, Citta Mall after work for dinner.

On the way to the restaurant, Kenzie boy saw this, and wanted to ride. It was RM1, so I said ok (haha, kiamsap mum). This cartoon character is called the Paddington Bear, but he didn't look cute to me here. In fact, he looked scary. Even the ride did not have any (cute) music, only some grunting coarse sound, eeewww.

We arrived Chili's and while looking at the menu, the waiter gave Kenzie some activity sheets to play with. Not bad. This activitiy sheets could keep him quiet while we selected what to eat from the menu.

While waiting for our food, hehe, this haupoh mummy wanted to snap some photo first.
P/S: No big polka ribbon, just a small pinky butterfly clip, haha.

Ok, the food arrived already. I had chicken mushroom soup. Very creamy, and it tasted good for so many years we patronized Chili's.

The hubs had beef soup. Not very creamy. Like oxtail soup. So so, but he said it was good.

Kid's meal - Mac & cheese. Needless to say, Kenzie boy was very picky and he only ate 1 spoon of this. Usually when I cook maceroni at home, he has no problem to finish it, so I chose mac & cheese from the kid's menu, but to my horror, he only touched 1 spoon. Sigh.

The hubs ordered sirloin strip. Meat wasn't very tender, but it was acceptable.

I ordered what else but my favourite burger? I always order burger when I dine at Chili's. This time, I ordered a beef bacon burger (with mash) instead of fries, if you know me.

When I saw Kenzie boy was not eating, I ordered a side for him - rice. He usually has no problem finishing half a plate of fried rice when we eat out, so I thought this will do the trick to get him to eat. But no, when the rice came, he ate 1 spoon, then, spitted it out. Gawd, I could go crazy and I could do anything, and I mean anything, to see him eat (just 1 scoop of rice). Please boy, pretty please, I'm begging you.

We finished our meal about one hour later and went home after that (what else?). Overall, I was satisfied and happy (except that Kenzie boy didn't eat anything and just survived on 2 cups of Milo) as I could spend quality time with the hubs and the boy.