No, I'm not counting down the days for my confinement to be over. I'm counting down the days for the lady to leave! I can't wait for that day. I can't wait for her to leave! It's very eyesore for me when:
1) She eats non-stop my food from morning til evening. She helps herself to breakfast, sits comfortably at my dining table, makes coffee and treats my house like a hotel which offers free food (I did not know I need to provide her breakfast and tea, I thought just lunch)
2) She comfortably takes food from the fridge without asking my permission on whether that can be eaten (although I mentioned before she can eat anything in the house, I still prefer she asks first instead of just taking it freely like this is her own house (because certain food are in containers cooked by my mil/mum and those food are meant to be for me and hubby)
3) She is so free and has nothing to do from 12.30pm til 4pm everyday. She lazes on the couch like a corpse during that time but knows how to get up from her corpse position at 3pm to make her teatime food. It makes me feel my money is not worth it
4) She sits on my bed or her body touches my bed when she carries baby to the bed or when she comes in to check on baby. I have mild OCD and because of this I wash my bedsheets once every two days. She can come in to check on baby but please don't sit on my bed (and sometimes with feet up) and treat like it's your own house. I very don't like!
5) She dirties my kitchen and causes ants to come. My kitchen has so many ants everywhere ever since she came. She pre-fried ginger, garlic and ikan bilis in advance and store them in containers so that she doesn't have to prepare them each time she needs to use them. I don't mind this 'convenient' method of hers but because of the smell and oily containers, it has attracted the ants to come. I hate the sight of ants and I get so stressed!
6) She keeps saying "baby wants to eat" whenever he makes a single noise. Usually I would wait a while to see if he really wants to feed but most of the time he will sleep again after making some noise. I just can't stand it when she walks in like a zombie and says "baby wants to eat". Get lost, woman!
7) She really has nothing much to do and I am beginning to wonder was it a mistake hiring her or was I too independent? Without her, I could do everything myself (except cooking proper confinement food). I mean, come on, I wash clothes+hang clothes+vacumn+mop+bathe Kz+prepares Kz's breakfast and feed him+feed baby Gavin+change baby Gavin - all before she comes! Do I that need her?
8) She reaches at 9.20am in the morning and can't wait to leave before 5pm. Again yes, I can't wait for her to leave each day and I am more than happy to open the door for her to leave, but at the same time I am paying her RM2k, I feel she is not worth the price
9) She spoiled my bathroom shower hose
10) She does not do any housework except cincai mop the floor with plain water after she cooks
What can I do? Nothing. I could just wait she leaves as soon as possible, that's all. And get over it.
Lesson learnt: Go stay at a confinement centre if you have OCD, independent and still do housework everyday (coz you will feel you can still survive without the cl), don't like strangers in your house, don't like people dirtying the kitchen and causes ants to come and lastly, if you can afford. Confinement centres cost RM6k including meals. In my situation I am paying this daytime lady RM2k. Herbs (soups+dates drink) cost about RM600. Food (meat and vege) cost about RM500 (including stuffs like Bentong ginger, yellow wine). So you do the Maths. I save half of the market price (not yet included gas+electricity bills) but I don't get help during night time and still have to do housework.
Kenzie Boy
Gavin boy
Sherman
Saturday 27 April 2013
Wednesday 24 April 2013
Challenges: Breastfeeding
Let's just summarize this post. I am frustrated to write about my breastfeeding journey.
Before Deliver
I equipped myself with breastfeeding knowledge. I read about it, googled it, even invested in a brand new and not-cheap breast pump (popular brand). With Kenzie, I failed to breast feed as I could only pump out 0.5-1oz each time and only breastfeed for 2 weeks. With Gavin I vowed to improve better and breastfeed at least for 2 months before I start work. I thought breastfeeding will not be hard. I will just latch baby when he wants to feed. I even thought of buying storage bag, storage bottles and ice packs. But lucky I did not rush into it.
After Delivered
Breastfeeding is not as easy as it seems. For the first week only colustrum was produced in my breast and I could not see any milk. When it is time for feeding I latch Gavin. He sucks. But is he getting enough from that few drops of colustrum? After sucking, formula given. Frankly I feel better. Ok, according to some breastfeeding support group, the tummy of a newborn is only like a size of a marble and that few drops of colustrum is enough. But frankly, errr, would you have topped up with formula milk if you were me?
My milk finally kicked in after a week. When baby Gavin cries for feeding and I have not bathed yet, I felt dirty and sticky, hence I do not feel like latching him as I feel very uncomfortable. Formula given.
*I have mild OCD, so to be honest I don't and can't latch him anytime. It depends on whether I have bathed or whether I have changed the sheets that day. For example after lunch (which usually consists of meat, sesame oil, ginger and wine) I will sweat and will usually bathe after that. If in between baby Gavin needs to feed at least there is expressed breast milk in the fridge for the lady to feed him first. So that's the reason I want to pump so early. I cannot imagine myself latching baby Gavin on my smelly sweaty body and sitting on my clean bed.
Fast forward, I started to pump. I spent so much on that pump, hell I'll makesure I make use of that pump everyday. For the first few days after the milk kicked in, I only managed to pump 2 teaspoons - 0.5oz of breast milk. Few more days later I only managed to pump 1oz each time. By the way I pump every few hours and I still latch baby Gavin. Formula given as top up as my breast milk is just too little. The reason I pump:
1) I know how much he drinks
2) I feel better seeing that 2-2.5 oz milk going into his stomach
3) I don't latch him if I am sticky/sweaty
To add to the pathetic-ness, today is day 14 and I only produced 2oz breast milk from 8pm yesterday night until 6am this morning. I pumped at 8pm, 11pm, 3am and 6am. Total 2oz. How pathetic is that?
I have all the signs: 1) When baby latches on 1 side the other side leaks. 2)My breast will leak and indicate time for me to pump. But when I pump, the maximum is still 1oz from both breasts!
Iwant to feel like giving up and just give formula. But as long as I still have a drop of breast milk I will still give that drop of milk to baby Gavin. And I will still continue to pump until my breasts die on me.
Before Deliver
I equipped myself with breastfeeding knowledge. I read about it, googled it, even invested in a brand new and not-cheap breast pump (popular brand). With Kenzie, I failed to breast feed as I could only pump out 0.5-1oz each time and only breastfeed for 2 weeks. With Gavin I vowed to improve better and breastfeed at least for 2 months before I start work. I thought breastfeeding will not be hard. I will just latch baby when he wants to feed. I even thought of buying storage bag, storage bottles and ice packs. But lucky I did not rush into it.
After Delivered
Breastfeeding is not as easy as it seems. For the first week only colustrum was produced in my breast and I could not see any milk. When it is time for feeding I latch Gavin. He sucks. But is he getting enough from that few drops of colustrum? After sucking, formula given. Frankly I feel better. Ok, according to some breastfeeding support group, the tummy of a newborn is only like a size of a marble and that few drops of colustrum is enough. But frankly, errr, would you have topped up with formula milk if you were me?
My milk finally kicked in after a week. When baby Gavin cries for feeding and I have not bathed yet, I felt dirty and sticky, hence I do not feel like latching him as I feel very uncomfortable. Formula given.
*I have mild OCD, so to be honest I don't and can't latch him anytime. It depends on whether I have bathed or whether I have changed the sheets that day. For example after lunch (which usually consists of meat, sesame oil, ginger and wine) I will sweat and will usually bathe after that. If in between baby Gavin needs to feed at least there is expressed breast milk in the fridge for the lady to feed him first. So that's the reason I want to pump so early. I cannot imagine myself latching baby Gavin on my smelly sweaty body and sitting on my clean bed.
Fast forward, I started to pump. I spent so much on that pump, hell I'll makesure I make use of that pump everyday. For the first few days after the milk kicked in, I only managed to pump 2 teaspoons - 0.5oz of breast milk. Few more days later I only managed to pump 1oz each time. By the way I pump every few hours and I still latch baby Gavin. Formula given as top up as my breast milk is just too little. The reason I pump:
1) I know how much he drinks
2) I feel better seeing that 2-2.5 oz milk going into his stomach
3) I don't latch him if I am sticky/sweaty
To add to the pathetic-ness, today is day 14 and I only produced 2oz breast milk from 8pm yesterday night until 6am this morning. I pumped at 8pm, 11pm, 3am and 6am. Total 2oz. How pathetic is that?
I have all the signs: 1) When baby latches on 1 side the other side leaks. 2)My breast will leak and indicate time for me to pump. But when I pump, the maximum is still 1oz from both breasts!
I
My Day
Just to write about my typical day during confinement.
5 or 5.30 - Usually baby Gavin will feed at this time. After that, I will change his diapers.
7.00 - Wakeup, boil water, breakfast (usually bread with butter and cheese or peanut butter with jam and a cup of hot milk with milo/vico). Will drag time and wait for hubby to send Kz to nanny's and go to work as I could not do any housework with them around
7.20 - Start doing housework: Vacumn (of course I will close Gavin's bedroom door), mop floor, change bedsheets (call me OCD, I change them once every 2-3 days), put on back new bedsheets, change floor towels, dish towels and bath towels (once every few days), wash clothes (using washing machine of course), bathe and wash hair, hang clothes and I am about done
8.15 - Rest, feed baby Gavin if there is a need, dry mop the floor (using 'magic mop') and continue to laze around while waiting for that lady to arrive
9.00 - Pump breast milk
9.15 (or later) - Lady arrives
10.30 - Lady bathes baby Gavin
11.00 - Lady prepares my lunch
11.45 - I will bathe again after lunch
12.30 - 15.30 - I will rest and play with the hp/tablet. Lady cooks her lunch, then lazes on the sofa like a corpse or play with her hp. At 3pm she will get up from her corpse position and make tea
15.30 or 16.00 - Lady wipes baby Gavin's body
16.30 - Lady prepares dinner
16.45 - Lady leaves (sometimes when there is work undone she stays til 5++)
18.30 - Hubby comes back from work, picks up Kz from the nanny's and have dinner
20.00 - 21.30 - We watch tv, hubby plays with baby Gavin and Kenzie
22.00 - Bed time (for me). I sleep with baby Gavin and take care of him every night, waking up every 2.5-3 hours or so to feed and change him and the cycle repeats the whole night.
5 or 5.30 - Usually baby Gavin will feed at this time. After that, I will change his diapers.
7.00 - Wakeup, boil water, breakfast (usually bread with butter and cheese or peanut butter with jam and a cup of hot milk with milo/vico). Will drag time and wait for hubby to send Kz to nanny's and go to work as I could not do any housework with them around
7.20 - Start doing housework: Vacumn (of course I will close Gavin's bedroom door), mop floor, change bedsheets (call me OCD, I change them once every 2-3 days), put on back new bedsheets, change floor towels, dish towels and bath towels (once every few days), wash clothes (using washing machine of course), bathe and wash hair, hang clothes and I am about done
8.15 - Rest, feed baby Gavin if there is a need, dry mop the floor (using 'magic mop') and continue to laze around while waiting for that lady to arrive
9.00 - Pump breast milk
9.15 (or later) - Lady arrives
10.30 - Lady bathes baby Gavin
11.00 - Lady prepares my lunch
11.45 - I will bathe again after lunch
12.30 - 15.30 - I will rest and play with the hp/tablet. Lady cooks her lunch, then lazes on the sofa like a corpse or play with her hp. At 3pm she will get up from her corpse position and make tea
15.30 or 16.00 - Lady wipes baby Gavin's body
16.30 - Lady prepares dinner
16.45 - Lady leaves (sometimes when there is work undone she stays til 5++)
18.30 - Hubby comes back from work, picks up Kz from the nanny's and have dinner
20.00 - 21.30 - We watch tv, hubby plays with baby Gavin and Kenzie
22.00 - Bed time (for me). I sleep with baby Gavin and take care of him every night, waking up every 2.5-3 hours or so to feed and change him and the cycle repeats the whole night.
Monday 22 April 2013
Happy Birthday Kenzie boy!
Kenzie turns 2 on 19th April 2013. No fancy celebration as mummy is still under confinement. Kenzie is such a clever boy. Mummy misses him everyday when he is at the nanny's. Oh how I wish I can stay home and takecare of my two babies. I want them in front of me everyday. God please show me the way and plan for me on what is Your arrangement for Kenzie when he enters nursery.
Because of this issue I am having sleepless nights.
Anyway happy birthday Kenzie boy. Mummy loves you so very much everyday.
My Confinement Story
Now, many will critisize or object strongly to what I am about to write. If you do not like what I am about to write, either click the x button on top or shut up if you want to continue reading.
As an introduction let me tell you that I did not hire a full time confinement lady (cl). I hired a daytime lady who comes from 9am and leaves at 5pm (well, I said 6pm initially but I also mentioned the word flexible, means she could leave after her chores are finished, and she really leaves at 5pm everyday!)
Anyway I hired a daytime lady because I know I will break the rules especially on bathing and washing hair issues. If I hire a fulltime cl and not following the rules, my money will be wasted. So with a daytime lady, as long as she cooks proper food for me and takes care of the baby, I don't feel so guilty breaking the 'touch water' rules. Plus I don't like strangers sleeping over in my house. I can still walk around, naked with just my disposble pantist (and pad) on. I pump my breast milk and latch baby naked, by the way.
Anyway, enough about the introduction. I am about to write about breaking all the rules confinement. So please shut up if you want to read.
The Broken Rules
I delivered my baby boy on 10th April. I was discharged and came home the next day, 11th April. Called the lady on 10th morning and she said she will come tomorrow. But in the evening after I delivered she called and said she could only make it on the 12th. I had no choice but to agree. What do you want me to say? Get lost and don't come? Already bad impression even before she arrives.
When I reached home I had to shower and wash my hair as there were still traces of dried blood sticking on my body, legs, feet, etc. All these blood was from the delivery process. So rule #1 broken: I showered and washed my hair 1 day after I delivered.
I shower everyday for about 5-6 times a day and I wash my hair twice a day. The weather was really hot and I don't want to add more stress to myself. I want to be able to take care of my baby happily without anyone controlling me.
I do housework everyday. I wash clothes (using washing machine of course), hang clothes, vacumn the house, mop the floor·, change bedsheets and wash the toilet. Of course hubby does housework also but I still do it again after that, yes, I have mild OCD.
Since the lady was unable to turn up on the day I was discharged, both my hubby and I did everything by ourselves. He boiled ginger water for my bath and boiled soup for me. I took care of baby the whole night. I made milk, changed diapers, washed bottles, etc. So you tell me, how not to touch water? And I passed through the most critical time alone, without anyone's help (hubby was snoring whole night while I handled the newborn alone). Do I still very need the lady? Can I ask her no need to come already?
The Lady
The lady turned up at my doorstep on 12th April. During the first few days, she was ok. But after that I am beginning not to like her. Everyday she can't wait to leave by 5pm. She cooks my lunch at 10-ish in the morning and my dinner at 4-ish in the afternoon. Why? So that her job will be done fast and she can leave after she washes my plates.
Everyday by 12.30pm til 4pm she will laze on the sofa like a corpse or play with her hp. Baby is good as he only zzzz whole day without giving work to the lady, but still, she can make herself useful and not letting me see her so free right?
She is like a hungry ghost and she eats anything and everything in the house non stop, some without my permission. In the morning she eats maggi mee with egg, hotdog or anything she finds in the fridge. After that she drinks kopi and eats some biscuits. Then during lunch she eats noodles and later another cup of kopi,and perhaps 3 slices of bread with cheese. She takes food without my permission - mil gave us some food for hubby's dinner. The lady takes the food and eats with her maggi mee without my permission. How daring is that?
She is really very free with not much work to do. I did not request her to handwash mummy's and baby's clothes by the way. And I did not request for baby to wear cloth diapers as my condo has no space and sunlight to hang so many cloth diapers in a day. Is she lucky to be hired by me? I offered RM2k.
The Food
The only thing good about her is that cooks well, that's all. I request for noodles everyday. No rice. She complied and managed to whip up food that can go down on my throat.
As an introduction let me tell you that I did not hire a full time confinement lady (cl). I hired a daytime lady who comes from 9am and leaves at 5pm (well, I said 6pm initially but I also mentioned the word flexible, means she could leave after her chores are finished, and she really leaves at 5pm everyday!)
Anyway I hired a daytime lady because I know I will break the rules especially on bathing and washing hair issues. If I hire a fulltime cl and not following the rules, my money will be wasted. So with a daytime lady, as long as she cooks proper food for me and takes care of the baby, I don't feel so guilty breaking the 'touch water' rules. Plus I don't like strangers sleeping over in my house. I can still walk around, naked with just my disposble pantist (and pad) on. I pump my breast milk and latch baby naked, by the way.
Anyway, enough about the introduction. I am about to write about breaking all the rules confinement. So please shut up if you want to read.
The Broken Rules
I delivered my baby boy on 10th April. I was discharged and came home the next day, 11th April. Called the lady on 10th morning and she said she will come tomorrow. But in the evening after I delivered she called and said she could only make it on the 12th. I had no choice but to agree. What do you want me to say? Get lost and don't come? Already bad impression even before she arrives.
When I reached home I had to shower and wash my hair as there were still traces of dried blood sticking on my body, legs, feet, etc. All these blood was from the delivery process. So rule #1 broken: I showered and washed my hair 1 day after I delivered.
I shower everyday for about 5-6 times a day and I wash my hair twice a day. The weather was really hot and I don't want to add more stress to myself. I want to be able to take care of my baby happily without anyone controlling me.
I do housework everyday. I wash clothes (using washing machine of course), hang clothes, vacumn the house, mop the floor·, change bedsheets and wash the toilet. Of course hubby does housework also but I still do it again after that, yes, I have mild OCD.
Since the lady was unable to turn up on the day I was discharged, both my hubby and I did everything by ourselves. He boiled ginger water for my bath and boiled soup for me. I took care of baby the whole night. I made milk, changed diapers, washed bottles, etc. So you tell me, how not to touch water? And I passed through the most critical time alone, without anyone's help (hubby was snoring whole night while I handled the newborn alone). Do I still very need the lady? Can I ask her no need to come already?
The Lady
The lady turned up at my doorstep on 12th April. During the first few days, she was ok. But after that I am beginning not to like her. Everyday she can't wait to leave by 5pm. She cooks my lunch at 10-ish in the morning and my dinner at 4-ish in the afternoon. Why? So that her job will be done fast and she can leave after she washes my plates.
Everyday by 12.30pm til 4pm she will laze on the sofa like a corpse or play with her hp. Baby is good as he only zzzz whole day without giving work to the lady, but still, she can make herself useful and not letting me see her so free right?
She is like a hungry ghost and she eats anything and everything in the house non stop, some without my permission. In the morning she eats maggi mee with egg, hotdog or anything she finds in the fridge. After that she drinks kopi and eats some biscuits. Then during lunch she eats noodles and later another cup of kopi,and perhaps 3 slices of bread with cheese. She takes food without my permission - mil gave us some food for hubby's dinner. The lady takes the food and eats with her maggi mee without my permission. How daring is that?
She is really very free with not much work to do. I did not request her to handwash mummy's and baby's clothes by the way. And I did not request for baby to wear cloth diapers as my condo has no space and sunlight to hang so many cloth diapers in a day. Is she lucky to be hired by me? I offered RM2k.
The Food
The only thing good about her is that cooks well, that's all. I request for noodles everyday. No rice. She complied and managed to whip up food that can go down on my throat.
 |
| Gingery porky soupy confinement food with sesame oil and wine |
10th April 2013
I went to the toilet at 6.45am in the morning with light red mucous-like blood on my pantist. Hubby has sent Kz to the nanny that time and when he came back, I said 'I think its time, I have blood on my pantist'. My hospital bag has been packed and off we went to the hospital.
Of course we had breakfast first before going to the hospital as my gynae's clinic only opens at 9am. I had chee cheong fun and iced milo at a coffeeshop nearby the hospital. Went to the hospital, gynae came, checked and I was dilated 2.5cm. Registered for admission and started me on drip around 10.30am. The nurses slowly increased the drip and soon enough I was feeling the contractions. My water bag broke after about two hours on drip. Long story cut short, I was 6cm dilated by 12pm. By that time the contractions were getting more close and frequent and not to mention more PAINFUL as this time round, I opted for no painkillers! With Kz, I opted for the pathedine injection. It made me drowsy so this time round, I vowed not to have any painkillers.
Labour this time round was very painful and each time the contractions came, I felt like dying and my mind was thinking 'just push me to the ceaser room'. But I still endured because I know I will have to push anytime soon as I was already 7-8cm dilated. But when the contractions went away I felt fine for 1 minute. And then it happened again. The cycle goes on and I just felt like dying. The midwife was not helping much and I could still remember her name and the awful things she talked about in the labour room.
Finally I felt like I had to push and I shouted for my gynae. He arrived in a jiffy and I was so relieved to see him. He prepared himself and asked me to push. At that moment everyone in the labor room was asking me to push (1 midwife, my gynae, 3 assistant nurses, my hubby) and I waited for the next contraction to help me push. After 3 pushes, baby was out! With Kz I only had to push once, maybe because I took the Pathedine, so it helped to relax my muscles (according to the nurse), but I still go for: No Painkillers!
This time, labour took only about 4 hours, but double the pain compared to Kz's time with 8 hours labour.
Anyway, here's baby Gavin after birth. Welcome to the world baby boy!
 |
| Baby Wong |
Monday 8 April 2013
Picky Eater
Made 3 types of food for Kz's breakfast last weekend as he was so picky and rejected the first food I offered to him. I cooked maceroni in corn soup for him initially as he used to love it and could finish a bowl in a jiffy previously. But upon putting 2 miserable pieces of maceroni into his mouth, he pushed away the bowl and mentioned "egg". Well, luckily I had stand-by 2 half-boiled eggs with a wee bit of soy sauce. Fed it to him and he loved it. He finished almost 1 egg. I then prepared some choco corn flakes with fresh milk and tried my luck as I felt 1 egg was not enough for him. He ate too and finished half the bowl of corn flakes with milk. Oh, Kenzie boy, what a picky eater!
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